Forget the good old days of meeting someone in a bar and embarking on a modern 'courtship'. As anyone who has attempted to find love post-Covid knows only too well, modern dating is an absolute minefield.
First you need to learn to navigate various dating apps (Bumble, Grindr, Tinder, to name but a few) and labour over the perfect profile picture and bio, then you need to pique a potential partner's interest with a killer opening line... and that's all before you've even met.
After a potentially awkward date with a lot of small talk, one must sit and await their fate. Throw into the mix a plethora of differing ways of being rejected and it's enough to crave celibacy for the rest of your days.
And while you've probably heard of - or actually been - ghosted, there's a whole host of new dating terms to get to grips with as we head into 2023.
By Ali Pantony and Bianca London
View GalleryIf you're navigating the dating world and want to brush up on your dating lingo prowess, we've enlisted Dating Trends expert, Eugénie Legendre from the dating app happn, as well as Dennie Smith, dating expert and founder of Old Style Dating, and Relationship Guru and Script Consultant on Netflix’s Sex Education: Alix Fox, who’s been working with dating app Plenty of Fish on their latest annual dating trends report, to bring you the dating buzzwords you need to get on top of this year.
Orbiting
So you and that one special someone ended things because “it’s not you, it’s me” or maybe you didn’t, it might have been left a bit unclear and you aren’t sure if it’s on or off. Either way, you have noticed that while you are off enjoying the single life and posting on your social media, that person continuously likes all your photos and spies on all of your Instagram stories, just so you know that they’re still around and thinking about you and leaving you wondering, are we or aren’t we? If someone is not quite in your life and not quite entirely removed, then it is likely you are being orbited.
Pocketing
The horrid trend of pocketing is on the rise and you don’t want to be the one whose been stuffed into a pocket by someone you really thought a relationship was growing with. If you aren’t being introduced to his or her friends and family within months of spending time together, then it might be time to open your eyes because you have been pocketed. A pocket-er is only ever available when they want to hang out or whenever their schedules are clear of any public encounters. Make sure you are always with someone who is excited to show off you as new arm candy!
Eco-dumpingWhether we like to admit it or not, we all have a certain partner criterion when dating. Whilst being family-orientated and having a sense of humour remain firm favourites, Brits may experience Eco-dumping. Value-driven connections have seen over a third of singles say a partner who cares about the environment is a key attribute for them, more than their physical appearance or their profession.
Alix says: “In dating terms, ‘eco-dumping’ is a super empowering act, whereby you bin someone (or potentially ‘recycle’ them into a friend!) because they’re not environmentally friendly enough to fit your ethos. Ideal dates for eco-cosiness? Foraging classes, bike rides, beach clean ups or seed bombing – see if your relationship lasts long enough to see your wild flowers bloom!
Cookie Jarring
So you have been seeing someone for quite some time and want to have a little extra security, just in case. You start getting a little friendlier with someone else, so you have something to fall back on if it all goes wrong. If you are guilty of this then you are officially cookie jarring. Give yourself time to get to know someone without the influence of anyone else and if things just don’t work out, then that’s okay – trying to understand why and learning from it could give you valuable insight into what you are looking for in the next potential candidate for your affection.
180-dating2022 really said “Death to Type on Paper”! Experts predict that un-typing behaviour is most likely to follow periods of romantic stress such as a messy break-up or divorce. Following heartbreak, singles are most likely to deviate from their usual type and find a rebound connection with a younger partner who brings much needed excitement and distraction.
Research shows almost two-thirds of singles have rebounded with a younger lover owing to the rise of 180-dating. Alix says: “After an exhausting break-up process, dominated by an all-too-grown-up sense of doom and gloom, it’s easy to see why someone would be tempted to ‘pull a datey-180’ and hook up with a wild new match full of revitalising, youthful energy and fresh ideas. We’ve seen this demonstrated lately by high profile celebs. 41-year-old Kim Kardashian had an uplifting fling with 28-year-old comedian Pete Davidson following her split from Kanye West. And after parting ways with her 47-year-old actor husband Jason Sudekis, 38-year-old Olivia Wilde has been enjoying a giddy romance with Harry Styles, who is ten years her junior.”
180 Dating can help people feel rejuvenated and re-energised after a tough time. It’s often about having lots of laughs and lots of fun – rediscovering hedonism, happiness and hotness, and feeling silly, spirited and sexy again instead of stale, serious and sad.”
Prowling
Finally, you got that date you have been dreaming about and it’s going well! You hang out a little more and really start to get to know each other. But wait - all of a sudden they’ve gone?! You haven’t heard from them in days or seen them in quite some time. They disappeared with no explanation and you’re left shattered and confused about what went wrong. Thankfully, your friends finally pull you off the couch and clean that chocolate ice cream off your face and get you to enjoy a night out. But then it all goes full circle when that person you thought you finally didn’t care about anymore appears and acts as if nothing ever happened?! This right here is what we call a 'prowler'; toying around with people’s emotions, so keen to hunt you down one minute but then there’s no trace of them the next. The prowler is always more hassle and hurt than they are worth.
Zombie-ing
While ghosting describes someone who suddenly disappears off the face of the earth with no explanation, 'zombie-ing' is the act of suddenly re-appearing and acting as if nothing has happened.
Benching
Ever have the feeling the person you're dating is also dating? Welcome to benching. "Benching is when you are clearly someone's Plan B or C while they clearly shop around for a better 'deal'," Dennie said.
Side-Barring
Is there anything more infuriating than being on a date with someone who is paying more attention to their phone? You're officially being side-barred. "This is when you're on a date and your partner is constantly on or distracted by their phone, unable to be completely present with you," explains Dennie.
Haunting
While 'ghosts' vanish from the face of the earth, perhaps more infuriating is a 'haunter', who clearly spies on you via social media without actually making any direct contact. Boo.
Now you're acquainted with the latest dating lingo, read about the best dating chat-up lines.
