When Bryony Mills-Evans gave birth to her daughter Willow at the age of 23, she had no idea she was pregnant until the moment she was giving birth on her own at work. She experienced a ‘cryptic pregnancy’ where women don’t know they’re pregnant until late in the pregnancy or even until labour begins. Studies suggest that around 1 in 475 pregnancies go unnoticed until about 20 weeks’ gestation, while 1 in 2,500 go unnoticed until delivery.
Here, Bryony shares her story.
It was a cold night late in November 2019 and the snow was coming down fast outside. I’d just finished my last client in the beauty salon that I run in mid-Wales, and was wiping down the manicure station, trying to ignore the cramps in my belly. The cramps had started the night before, and I couldn’t stop going for a wee, but it was my time of the month and I’d been spotting, so I just assumed I was due my period.
But after about 10 minutes, the cramps became almost unbearable. I went to lie on the massage table and pulled my leggings down so I could rub my lower belly, trying to ease the pain. At that point, I was still so sure it was just very bad period cramps.
I lay there for a while rubbing my lower stomach and taking deep, meditative breaths. But then I felt the strangest sensation, as though something was pushing against my knickers. The cramps were excruciating. I knew then that this wasn’t just period pain.
I reached down and all of a sudden, I felt something. I gasped when I realised it was a tiny head. They weren’t period cramps at all; they were contractions. I was having a baby.
I didn’t have time to think or go into shock. My phone had died and was in the other room, and at age 23 with no idea I’d been pregnant for the past 10 months, I didn’t know the first thing about labour and giving birth. Somehow my instincts just kicked in. I pushed as hard as I could, sweat now pouring off me, until around 20 minutes later, I heard my baby cry for the first time. I looked down, and saw that it was a girl.
I pulled her up to my chest and just lay there holding my baby, my body trying to process what had just happened as this tiny thing wriggled and cried. I soon realised I needed to keep her warm, so I wrapped her in towels I had in the salon, and she slowly started to calm down. At this point, the umbilical cord was still attached, so I reached over for my eyebrow scissors and gently cut a few inches away from her body (I'm very lucky this went well, as this should always be done by a medical professional).
She was calm, so I went to charge my phone and use the toilet. I know it sounds strange, but I was weirdly calm, too – maybe it just hadn’t sunk in yet, or maybe my body was just in fight or flight mode.
But I didn’t know the first thing about giving birth, so I had no idea you have to give birth to the placenta afterwards. On the toilet, I started freaking out, convinced I was having another baby! I grabbed my phone and dialled 999. The operator told me I needed to stay on the phone with him until the paramedics got there.
Eventually, the ambulance arrived and took us to Princess Royal Hospital in Telford. We had to pick up a midwife en route, as obviously I’d never had one, who told me my waters had probably slowly broken when I kept going to the toilet, so I wouldn’t have noticed.
On the way to the hospital, I text my mum to let her know what had happened. I couldn’t call her before as I had to stay on the phone to the 999 operator, and when the paramedics arrived, it was chaos – I was answering a million questions, my baby and I were getting checked, and I was talking to the midwife. I can’t remember exactly what I said, I still don’t think I’ve ever read the message back, but essentially, it was: ‘Mum, I’ve just had a baby. I can’t talk right now, meet me at Telford hospital. We’re both fine’.
The midwife and female paramedic stayed with me until mum arrived at the hospital. She burst into tears when she saw us. She gave me a huge hug, took me for a shower and made sure I ate. When my stepdad arrived, they popped to Tesco to get all the baby essentials I obviously didn’t own. They came back with bags full of nappies, formula, pads, cute little outfits and even a balloon.
Of course, we didn’t know exactly how many weeks pregnant I was when I gave birth, but the doctors thought she was over two weeks late because of how wrinkly she was, and they told me she weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces. My mum suggested picking a name to help me bond with her. “You’ve always loved the name Willow,” she suggested. I looked at her and it just fit perfectly.
Eventually, the nurse advised my mum to go home, and I was put on a ward with another woman. I stayed up all night texting my mum, asking, ‘How do I know when Willow needs feeding and changing?’ as I didn’t know the first thing about babies.
I discharged myself the next morning and mum came to pick me up. When we took Willow home, I think I was still in shock. In fact, I’m not sure it’s ever worn off. I was never even sure I wanted kids, and while other mums have all those months to prepare both physically and psychologically, I was thrown totally in the deep end. I knew absolutely nothing about babies, none of my friends had them, and it was tough. I don’t think I properly held my daughter until the next day after we arrived home. I was freaked out and utterly overwhelmed, but I’m lucky I had my mum to help and guide me.
I knew I had to tell Willow’s father, Rob. We’d been seeing each other for a few months when Willow was conceived, but we’d decided to split because it just wasn’t the right time. It was a mutual decision, and we didn’t end on bad terms. Still, I was terrified about telling him. How would he react? Would he want to be a part of Willow’s life? I waited three days, then I knew I had to say something (I’m from a small town and news travels fast). I text him saying, ‘You might have already heard, but I just wanted to let you know that she’s yours.’
I sat on the sofa praying that he wouldn’t call me, but he called me straight away. My heart was racing, but it needn’t have been. To my relief, Rob was so happy and excited. He told me how proud he was of me, and that he couldn’t wait to meet her. He came over the next day and was absolutely smitten. It was a like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
During this time, my phone was blowing up with messages from people I’d never even spoken to asking if it was true. ‘How could you not know you were pregnant?’ they all said. I received over 100 friend requests on Facebook from people wanting to know more. I was met with a lot of judgement, and people told me I was lying. But I had no reason to suspect I was pregnant. I was bleeding regularly throughout my pregnancy – I now know there were just hormonal bleeds that I assumed were my period – and I never had a visible bump. I could still fit in all of my clothes right up until I gave birth.
I didn’t have any nausea, morning sickness, back pain or cravings. I never felt her moving or kicking. The doctor told me that this was probably because my placenta was at the front during my pregnancy – whereas it’s normally behind the baby – and she was likely kicking against the placenta instead, which is why I couldn’t feel anything.
There are obvious risks to both mother and baby when you don’t know you’re pregnant, and it was extremely fortunate that Willow was carried to term and healthy. Not only did I go into labour alone and cut the umbilical cord without any medical assistance, but I was doing all the things a pregnant woman shouldn’t be doing for the entire nine months. In fact, it was my New Year’s resolution that year to have something fun planned every month. I went to music and beer festivals in my second trimester, and on holiday to Barcelona and Poland in my third trimester. I worked – quite literally – until I dropped. I realise how incredibly lucky we are that there was nothing wrong with Willow.
Eventually, the interest in Willow and I died down, and things started to feel normal. Being a mum became easier over time, and as the initial shock began to pass, my love for Willow grew in its place. She was a happy, calm baby – doctors told me it was probably because I was so chilled throughout the pregnancy! – and the spitting image of her mum; it was like having a mini-me around. It didn’t take long before I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
Rob and I both come from broken homes and our parents didn’t get along throughout our childhoods, and we knew we didn’t want that for Willow. So, we made an effort to get along as co-parents, to spend time together as a family and take her on days out together as much as possible. After about six months, Rob and I realised the feelings we’d had for each other had returned, and we started our relationship back up. Rob worked away up north at the time, so we’d split our weekends between my mum’s house and his mum’s house. By the time Willow was around 18 months, we bought our first house together.
We settled into our new life together as a little family quickly, and soon Rob and I started discussing having another child. There’s four years between my brother and I, and I’ve always felt like it’s a nice age gap. We agreed we wanted to have another baby before Willow started school, and I said I didn’t fancy doing the night feeds in the winter again, so last September, we started trying.
I fell pregnant quickly, and this time, it was totally different. I had a bump, I had morning sickness, and I felt the baby moving from the second trimester. Of course, this time I was extremely careful, and I knew I wanted a hospital birth.
Our son Parker was born on 29th May 2023. Just like Willow, the labour was very quick. He’s much more of a drama queen than his older sister, he loves to scream! Willow is great with him, she just wants to kiss him all the time.
I didn’t plan to become a mum, and my story is unusual, but I wouldn’t change it. Even though I didn’t know at the time, that night in November almost four years ago gave me my best friend in the world. She and her brother have taught me a love I never knew possible. They’re my world.
