DEAR DEIDRE: THINKING of getting married fills me with excitement and fear because I’m not sure I can give up my addiction to sex workers.
I’m a man of 32. My fiancée is 37 and we’ve been dating for two years.
We met at the gym when I helped her to take some weights off one of the machines.
We got chatting, I met her in the bar for a drink later and since then we’ve been in a relationship.
I stay over in her little flat but we’ve bought a house together to do up and we’re moving in properly together after the wedding.
As a medical sales rep, I travel the country visiting different hospitals and staying in different hotels.
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Over the years, I’ve got fed-up with eating on my own or drinking at a bar with just the barman to talk to so I started to seek the company of escort girls.
It was easy at first. If we got along well and she was up for sex, we’d come to some additional financial arrangement.
I’ve sometimes gone back to the same girl at different times and occasionally, if one of my favourites isn’t available, I’ve picked up a sex worker on the street.
I know this is bad behaviour but I just cannot seem to help myself.
My fiancée is full of expectation and excitement for our big wedding day.
Everything is booked and paid for and our families can’t wait for the special day next month.
I would really like to leave my old ways behind when we get hitched, but I’m worried about slipping into my bad habit.
What if I get caught?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You got into the habit of paying for company when you were lonely but it isn’t like that now.
You now have your fiancée in your life, to support you.
You can break your escort habit by changing your routine.
Perhaps look at driving home more regularly or, as you are staying in hotels, go to the gym or pool. Use your spare time to keep fit.
Alternatively, arrange to video call your fiancée at a certain time, after dinner.
If you want to bring some passion into it, that can work wonders too.
If this is a true addiction, there are organisations which can help you, such as The Laurel Centre.
It offers tailored sex addiction therapy as well as porn addiction counselling (thelaurelcentre.co.uk, 01926 339594).
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